Happy Halloween

The second biggest "holiday" (at least in terms of retail) has finally arrived! The day where kids come home from school distracted from doing their homework and definitely not in the mood for dinner is here. Moms and Dads may try to leave work early, depending on the complexity of the costumes. More about costumes further down...

Tonight, make sure kids don't go to homes without porch lights on. And for the love of kids, do not turn your porch light on tonight if you don't have candy or if you're not home. Nothing is more annoying than that for parents while we trudge around on wet grass (or if we're lucky on sidewalks) than to stand there waiting for nothing. Okay, there may be :::some::: things more annoying: a stick in your eye, for example.

Forecast calls for rain, and there are those people who don't do well driving in the rain (you know who you are!). Please be extra careful if you are out in a car. Kids should also wear some reflective tape on their costumes. And here we are back to costumes. Have you put it off to the last minute? I found this site that has some very cute ideas. Here ya go with my favorites.

ANTARTICA Are you Portly? Pleasingly plump? Big-boned? Just plain overweight? Halloween was meant for you! Simply throw that white sheet over yourself, and you're the continent of Antartica

BAKED POTATO New parents! Are you confused about how to dress your infant for the Halloween party? The answer is as close as your kitchen! Simply wrap the offspring in aluminum foil-- and the kid's a baked potato!

UNIVERSAL BAR CODE Get a child's growth chart with the lines and numbers on it, then affix it to your body from head to toe. Every shopper will recognize you as a price in Universal Bar Code! This costume will also protect your anonymity: No one can tell what the real price is, just like at the grocery store!

PILLOWS A simple pillow can provide any number of last-minute costumes. Tuck it into the upper back of your shirt -- you're Quasimodo! Or move it around to the front -- you're Arnold Schwarzenegger! Now drop it lower -- you're any pregnant celebrity. Don't discard that pillow case -- put it over the top part of your body and you're a Chicklet!

UNPROGRAMMED VCR Get a long and shallow cardboard box. Cut a rectangle in the front. Climb inside it, then put a sign that reads "12:00" in front of the rectangle. Yes, you're an unprogrammed VCR -- the kind that 60 percent of the public owns!

LOST TV REMOTE Art imitates life once again with this cumbersome but easily identifiable costume. Simply remove two large seat cushions from your sofa, and affix one in front of you and one behind you. You're an item familiar to all -- the lost TV remote control!

RADON GAS Go to a party dressed as you are. When asked what you're supposed to be, say "Radon gas!" Then when asked, "Where's your costume?" say, "Where else? In my basement!"

DAVID LETTERMAN'S TEETH You and a friend each get a large appliance box and paint it white. Put them on. Stand close together with a slight space between you. Behold! You're David Letterman's front teeth!

Happy Halloween LaVergne!